GETTIN' REAL UP IN HERE

Alright guys, I have been wanting to write this blog post for a while and today is the day for a couple reasons. 1. It's a rainy day and my husband is on a trip. Rainy day+being alone=thoughts on thoughts on thoughts. 2. I actually have time to sit down and write it! And 3. Because I am nothing if I am not real with you guys. I want you all to know that I am not just an Instagram page or a computer that posts pretty pictures. I am a friend and I strive to build real and lasting relationships with my clients as I would with non-clients. I want you to know that I am a real person with real feelings, real thoughts and REAL anxieties. So here it goes. I'm getting super vulnerable which isn't easy for me so please be kind!

At the start of this year I had a HUGE meltdown. A meltdown like I have never had before and guess where it stemmed from! I woke up one day and immediately starting scrolling through, you guessed it, Instagram. It was a normal day like any other. Wake up, get caught up with social media, get ready and go through normal day activities. But with social media, we post our bests. Best hair days, best pictures, best vacations, best friends, best accomplishments. So it is VERY easy to start comparing your life to others. I have to say, I am the worst at this. Only I don't compare my life, I compare my business. This is exactly what I did this day. I came across a post from a photographer who I adore. The funny thing about this is, I actually helped (at least a little) when this particular photographer was first wanting to get into photography. I am a huge proponent of #communityovercompetition so I am always willing to help people if they have questions or frustrations. Now, I do NOT know everything there is to know and I am not nearly as versed as other photographers out there, but I am always willing to help. It always comes as a surprise to me when people reach out to me but when they do I do not hesitate. Which is what I did this time around. We planned to get together and do a little shoot and talk all things photography (insert HUGE anxiety attack). I have social anxiety guys, okay! It is extremely hard for me to put myself out there, especially in situations where I am supposed to teach. So this was HARD for me. It took everything in me to put my insecurities aside and just go with it. Maybe I didn't teach a lot, maybe what I had to say wasn't what they wanted to hear. I don't know, but this post that they had posted was an appreciation post. A post to thank everyone who has helped this person along on their photography journey and I was not included within this persons appreciation. Guys, I BROKE DOWN. I was pissed, I felt worthless, I felt inadequate. Like what I had to teach wasn't even worth a thank you and like I wasn't good enough. Then I started overthinking everything. Who won't follow my work, who follows and then un-follows. Just everything. Then, I cried for an hour in the shower. My husband thought I was crazy. He literally had to get mad at me and tell me to STOP. I was comparing myself to this person and I wasn't even mad about not being appreciated. I was mad that I wasn't as successful as this person whom I taught a few tips and tricks to. This was the real issue. Comparison. Looking back now, I feel so stupid. I really don't freaking care that I was mentioned or not. This person will probably read this and apologize or tell me they think the world of me. But that's not what I am wanting out of telling you this. I am writing this because you can't grow if you allow yourself to compare yourself to others. Or if you are always worrying about other peoples successes or what they post. Real growth and real improvement comes when you work to be better than yourself. I don't know how many of you have noticed, but if you scroll to the bottom of my Instagram, I STILL have pictures from when I first started out. I keep them there for many reasons. I want to always have the reminder for myself of where I started from. Guys, these pictures are embarrassing for me to look at. But it helps me see just how much I have grown! I still have so much to learn and I will never pretend to be the best, but man, I have grown so much and I am proud of that! I also keep them there as a reminder to my followers, that everyone starts somewhere. So whether you want to be a photographer yourself, or WHATEVER your dreams are, you have to start somewhere. You will never get anywhere if you don't start somewhere.

So here is my real message. You have a dream? Start small, start crappy, but just start! Never ever compare yourself and if you're catching yourself doing just that, do what I do. When I catch myself saying things like "Why does this person have this many followers and they've been doing it for like 5 minutes??" Finish it by saying something like, "Well that's okay, I just booked two weddings in one week." Or whatever your recent accomplishment is, big or small! Then scroll and MOVE ON! Also, that's another thing. Don't get caught up in the numbers game on Instagram. That lame little number has NOTHING to do with how good you are at what you do. I know people who are just as busy with 300 followers as those with 3,000. Always remember, you have to start somewhere and everyone's journey is 100% different. Guys, don't let yourself have a meltdown like me. It was seriously so stupid and pointless. If you ever need someone to talk to or have questions or frustrations, know that there are people who are willing to help. I am. Seriously, message me anytime.

I am proud of who I am. I am proud of my business. I am proud of my growth and accomplishments. You should be too.